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Author Paul Brogan Gets Candid About His Relationships with Doris Day and Other Hollywood Icons

We caught up with Paul Brogan to discuss his new book and his relationships with some of the most renowned movie stars of all time. You can read all about it in this Q&A article.

Q. You mention your relationship with Doris Day began by exchanging letters. How did this begin? How old were each of you at that time? Was this connected with being a fan? Or did you begin your relationship before she was a celebrity?
A. Doris was the number one box-office star in America when I first wrote her a fan letter in my 7-year-old scrawl. I’d seen the movie Please Don’t Eat the Daisies, where she played the mother of four boys. I wrote that if I didn’t have my own mother, I’d love to have her as a mother. I sent it to “Doris Day, Hollywood, California”. There were no zip codes in those years of the early 60’s but it made it to the studio, and she responded. We wrote back and forth for more than 10 years before I finally had a chance to go to California. I was the only kid in the Concord School’s with Doris Day as my pen pal.

Q. How did the transfer from “pen pal” to in-person relationship begin?
A. Once we met, we found we had a great deal in common. She never “went Hollywood” despite being there from 1947 on. She was still Doris Kappelhoff from Cincinnati, Ohio, riding her bike around Beverly Hills, visiting with her friends who worked in the bakery and keeping her piles of awards and numerous Gold Records, in boxes, in the garage. We rarely if ever talked “Hollywood”.

Q. How often did you see Doris?
A. When she lived in Beverly Hills, three or four times a year. Throughout the 70’s, after the first visit in 1973, until she moved to Carmel in 1981. After that, not as often, but we talked on the phone every week or two and I visited Carmel half a dozen times. She owned a beautiful pet-friendly inn called The Cypress.

Q. How did your relationship grow over the years?
A. We could talk about anything, and she was often very blunt with me when I would show-up for a visit with a boyfriend who she felt was using me. She was always right, too.

Q. Did you have her permission to publish this memoir?
A. My first book has a cover photo of me and Doris. I asked her permission to use the photo, even though it was mine. She was flattered and said, “I’ve always wanted to be a cover girl.”. She had written her own story in 1976 and told me, “This is your story, Paul. You need to tell it as you lived it…” Although she passed away in 2019 at the age of 97, I know she would have said the same thing this time.

Q. Why did she confide in you?
A. Because I wasn’t a fanatical “fan”. We talked Catholicism, nature, our favorite seasons (we both loved fall), music, animals and friends. She loved that I was not obsessed with her fame or her career achievements. When I first met her, I thought for an instant that I needed to
impress her and burst out with, “You know I saw With Six You Get Eggroll (her 1968 comedy), 54 times!” She looked at me before blurting out, “And you didn’t get diabetes?”

Q. You say she would have married Rock Hudson. What makes you say that?
A. If Rock had not been railroaded into marrying his agent’s secretary for his public image, he and Doris would have made an amazing couple, even knowing what she knew about his private life. He’d not met Doris when he was forced to marry Phyllis. Had he met Doris first and had she not been married to a shyster, they’d have been perfect together. They genuinely loved and liked one another. There was a rapport that he never found with any man including our date!!! He called Doris, “Eunice” and she called him “Ernie”. They just were. She had four lousy marriages. With Rock it would have been different.

Q. What can you tell me about Doris Day that no one else knows?
A. She wanted to live in New England for many of the same reasons I continue. She wanted to rake leaves, pick apples, shovel the snow and feel connected to reality. Her third husband had family in North Adams, Massachusetts. They would sometimes visit, and Doris loved the way life felt and the way the air smelled.

Q. What made Doris so special to you? To others?
A. Her humor, her heartfelt sincerity and her loyalty to friends and animals.

Q. Why was Doris Day so beloved in your opinion?
A. She was never phony, and people can detect that. She could sing, dance, act and make you believe and make it seem easy, as though anyone could do it. Finally, her 40 years of devotion to animal welfare earned her the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2004 and the admiration of millions.

Q. Do you have relationships with any other celebrities?
A. Lots. Often from working with them for the purpose of bringing them to NH to put a face on the AIDS organizations by having them do benefits. From that often-sprung friendships. Patti Page had a Maple Syrup Farm in NH, and I spent time with her and her husband there. She did four concerts for me in 2001 and 2002 at the Palace Theatre, Music Hall in Portsmouth, Capital Center and the Lebanon Opera House. Carol Channing became a very close friend after I brought her to NH in 2007 and 2008. She loved my imitation of her. I dated a few actors who are household names and we remained friends. I worked for a while in Los Angeles at CBS Television and became friends with quite a few people. Rock said to me that he loved the fact that I was not the typical “California surfer-boy type with the blonde hair, tan and blue eyes.” I was just myself and for a lot of these people, that was refreshing.

Q. Have you ever lived in L.A.? If so, why and when?
A. From 1990 until 1993. I worked out there and enjoyed it very much. However, there is something synthetic about it after a while and you could lose yourself too easily. I want to remain rooted in the reality of New England and our seasons.

Q. What are your goals for this book? Why did you write it?
A. I wanted to share a story that perhaps others can identify with, in some way. We all have our journey and if we’re fortunate that journey will bring us happiness and help us to overcome the inevitable rough spots. I hope the books enlightens, entertains and opens hearts and minds.

Q. Do you have plans for writing another book?
A. Yes, I am getting to work on something completely different. It’s a mystery set in Concord’s White’s Park. To those of us who grew-up in the 50’s and 60’s near the park, it has always been “White’s” although it is technically, White Park. It’s called, The Park, and is set in 1962 when a series of deaths occur in the park. It’s fictional but many of the names in it are actual people from, the time. It is a whole new genre for me because I think I’ve done all I can with non-fiction and want to stretch myself. I think most writers want to tackle something new and whether it works or not is not as important as making the journey.


 

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